Portland Arts Tax!
• quality unauthorized fan merchandise since 2020 •
Are you a fan of the Portland Arts Tax and especially making people just above the poverty line pay their fair share, regardless of how problematic it might be?
WE GOT YOUR GEAR! Get the hottest styles now and be the talk of the yoga lockeroom!
Whether you pull down $13,031 or $21,122,112 per year, every "Portland Resident" pays the same $35.00 Arts Tax, some of which actually makes it to the children. Why not celebrate?
All the Small Things To Be Considered:
- If you need to pay your Portland Arts Tax, please use AltaVista, The Yellow Pages, HotBot, Lycos, Infoseek, or some other search engine on the information superhighway to find the correct website.
- All merchandise sales are through our Zazzle.com store. Prices are approximate and might go up or down depending on options. Profits from the sale of this merchandise will go to charity after our "administrative fees" (wink wink) have been deducted.
- This parody website has no affiliation with Oregon Ballot Measure 26-146, The City of Portland, or the band Def Leppard.
$1018.00
Hey fellow kids! Show your dirtbag friends you are hip to the pros and cons of different taxation methods with our totally rad sk8board deck! Please note: If you are over 18 and live with your parents and only made enough money last year to buy this item, you won't have any money left over to pay your Portland Arts Tax bill.
$5,031.00
These golf balls are priced especially to show everyone you have a lot of money. Really stick it to those people who call the Portland Arts Tax "regressive". $35 is just pocket change, anyone can afford that!
$35.00
The Black Flag reference 1 in 27 Portland (mostly male) residents will understand.
$15.95
Kids are messy. Trying to keep billing people who don't live in Portland anymore is pretty messy too. So complicated yet so charming!
$2.30
This button is a good reminder to always speak in a soft condescending italics tone of voice when talking to someone who makes a completely valid point about the Arts Tax that you don't like.
$17.95
That piece of junk mail addressed to "Portland Resident" which went out with last week's recycling was your Portland Arts Tax Bill! Ha Ha just kidding, we know you paid it online already.
$6.95
Place these notes on the desks of all your coworkers. They will appreciate you looking out for them and avoiding that 100% late fee.
$70.00
With late fees of 100%, the shifty Pawn Shops on Southeast 82nd Avenue can't even charge that rate by law! Show your pride in making those lazy people to pay up!
$19.95
Our marketing department said we needed broaden our target market and have at least one item for the losers who have issues with the Portland Arts Tax. They can pay two dollars more then!
$17.95
Just last year the Portland Arts Tax adminsitrative fees got up to a steamy 8.9%, oh honey, that's so naughty!
$35.00
Why not kick things up a notch and be the office rebel? Sure, you paid your Portland Arts Tax, but make your coworkers think you didn't!
$24.95
Celebrate our hard fought victory when we finally did away with that annoying cost control provision that was in the bill which voters originally approved.
$678.00
This 40x60 stretched canvas print is perfect for any home. Show people how wealthy you have to be to even qualify to pay the Portland Arts Tax.
This website was constructed using a six pack of beer and a text editor
copyright 2020
IG @human.clock
IG @human.clock